So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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