like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
where are my eyebrows?
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