If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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