have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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