FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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