Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
