Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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