it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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