Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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