i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
