How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
