so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
