After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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