any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize