im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
