Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize