Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You pole danced in your parka.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
