He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
