You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
