I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
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Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
don't judge my taste in strippers
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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