From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
