She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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