I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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