He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
