wanna go halves on a baby?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
