Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
