I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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