I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
