yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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