Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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