Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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