So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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