Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I deserve this hangover.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
