The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Someone stole a lamp last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
