***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
