apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
