i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
