Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize