i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
