I faked an abortion last night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
