I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
