Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize