I hate your face
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize