Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
