Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
