Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
