Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
