DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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