I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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