i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
