I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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