goodnight i made you a song goodbye
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
