Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
