literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
