If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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