I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
