its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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