You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
