i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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